I feel like the mention of anything with the D word garners Charlamagne to randomly pop up like Beetlejuice. Also...please note: I ain't no doctor. As u can recall, I proudly skipped anything related to Math in order to get my degree in the most basic of basics so just know there is NO title of Dr. nothing foreseen to be attached to my name! How I was able to self-diagnose this disorder as it relates to myself was from the perspective of someone else who pointed it out to me. They noticed how every year around the same time, I hibernate.
For the most part, I am upbeat n maintain my attitude with the "little" things that bring me joy. Once I evaluated my own mood swings n paid attention to enjoying my alone time more than ever-it's always around Fall. Fall is one of my favorite seasons to enjoy layering, I love the weather change n the foliage as the sun caresses the leaves during a sunrise. Daylight saving time affords the beauty of the most gorgeous sunsets. Granted-it's totally dark by 6p n my body must tell my brain it's midnight cuz I be in bed by 8p. Per NIH, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is basically (my translation cuz I prefer simplicity) when ur mood changes more than likely in Fall/Winter. These changes can include having low energy, insomnia, change in appetite, trouble concentrating, hibernating n depression/anxiety.
So here's the thing...I lost my mom half my life ago. During Thanxgiving, I have options with friends n extended fam but the closer it gets to the day, the more over it I become. As much as I love the reunion of breaking bread, catching up n laughs of memories-I still don't be press to be bothered. It's nothing against nor any love lost; I just wanna-just be...to myself. I do gather some energy becuz Mason's bday is before (or on) Thanxgiving n then we roll into Xmas which seems to be celebrated earlier than normal every year. I don't wanna deprive my kids of joyous occasions with their mom n traditions they can build on n pass on plus I know its sacred time for my boys. I can recognize I am more emotional during these times cuz I've learned how to accept loss, I still allow myself space to grieve. Maybe that's where the depression part kicks in.
So how do I overcome the SAD? I come out of hibernation in spurts n thrive in spontaneity. I also enjoy my time to self n take random bubble baths. This season I will direct more energy into organizing n purging; which is turning into a lifelong project. My favorite snuggle bunny during this season is my weighted blanket. If yall don't have one of these...u are not loving urself correctly n truly missing out. Now is my time to shine n hit PLAY on crime docs and catching up on some seasons of my favorite shows: Queen of South, Blacklist, Wentworth and always open to suggestions. I do not have all the answers, Sway. I take it day by day. Told yall I'm trying to find some balance with going back into the office these days. I'm trying to see how to squeeze in my daily walks again.
I hibernate differently but peek-a-boo here n there. I enjoy doing my IG stories but not enuff to force it if the spirit doesn't hit me. Around this time it's also good to pause to reflect n re-evaluate 2021 then set some goals tones for 2022-I like being a forward thinker. For those who may feeeeel like they go through a case of seasonal depression; hang in there. This may be tough to navigate especially if you've recently loss a loved one. I am typically patient with everyone during these times because a lot of people aren't vocal with what they are dealing with so if u don't pay attention u could miss the signs. I do NOT like talkin on the phone but I do schedule check-in calls for a brief chat becuz it's nice to hear a voice rather than a tone thru txt. So NO, I am not ignoring anybody n no need to do a welfare check if I disappear from the timeline for 2-3 days lol. I'm around and looking forward to the holidays...to fly by!!
