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  • Writer's picturekisha no e

How to Clean Your Mirror: Refinement

Updated: Jan 22, 2022

I am hesitant on putting this out into the universe. Why? Becuz it's apart of me cleaning my mirror. In the previous post, I started a series "How to Clean Your Mirror" and spoke on accountability. This shyt is not easy. You have to grow up n be honest with urself at some point in life n recognize a lot of shortcomings ur not proud of have been a result of ur own negligence in decision making. In today's series the topic is refinement.

I grew up watching my mother show me how to be a sophisticated woman. She totally embodied classy (despite growing up in them DC streets) n I model the majority of how I carry myself in her honor. I am charged as the oldest of my siblings to be a role model and now the pressure is turnt up more with my little "cupcake"(my niece) who adores me n makes me proud when she stands tall in being herself. With turning Fo'Tee (post here) I have been in pursuit of refinement where I am fine tuning myself towards being a better me. This has been a work in progress in which every day gives me another opportunity of adjusting my notch up in womanhood.

I love reflecting my style and personality with my clothes and hair because you'll notice that before I speak. My presence upon entering a room will greet u before we meet. I get bored quick n it's why I embrace change. I couldn't dare have the saaaaame hairstyle for too long n u can never pin point what I'll do next becuz I don't even know. I go with the flow of what moves me at the time when I sit in my stylist chair. For my birthday we went with a pop of color and booooy did this shyt POP!!! I love how it came out, the color is vibrant and is everything I didn't think I'd want BUT...I quickly realized how temporary this shade would need to be.

I will admit...I teeter the line at times when it comes to professional work attire becuz a lot of those "rules" of what's appropriate is outdated but even iiiii know better than to think I'd be up in the workplace with #PinkHair and to be honest, I rocked it confidently but I felt self-conscious becuz I know it's like walking around wit a LOOK AT ME hat n contrary to popular belief...I prefer to be incognito **gasp** I was minding my bidness walking into a store n some young dudes in a car honked at me. Another instance young dudes did the typical "aye girl" approach n I scrunched my face so hard u would've thought I turned into a pug! These little YBN's or NBA's got me phkd up thinking I'm some type of city girl in deez streets. The conversation we don't want to have is this...

You are what u attract. The image we project does make a difference in how we are approached and specifically as it pertains to the opposite sex-WHO approaches. I can't speak for yall but let me say this **steps into my bag** when a man sees me, he must know IF he has the confidence to approach me to have his shyt To AND Gether which in a nutshell means...I'm not playing NO GAMES!! Do I look like a woman who wants an introduction from a man in a situationship? living unhappily w/a woman? irresponsible? unreliable? overall winging it with no direction of what he wants with his love life? No! Yet the pink hair might throw these dudes off becuz it could be perceived as me being the fun girl who just ready for a good time and I can assure u...I am far from that. I am a homebody, the highlight of my weekend is my morning #starbucks n wegmans run n I'm in bed by 8pm, sounds litTy right lol. Now, Now, Now...let's not act like we don't judge in some way or form when we in the market for a mate. I know I have my preferences n I'm not entertaining no grown man who walks around in his rapper couture reeking of friends wit benefits.

I knew I had to go back to old faithful...the signature cut that turns me into superwoman. I have no regrets for my out of the box colors I've ever had becuz I can at least die knowing how I looked with it instead of wondering what if-had I not. I have nothing against it but for ME between my workplace (whenever we go back) n pursuit of my huuuuuzband of a certain caliber, I don't need it being a distraction or misrepresentation.

So there u have it. I'd like to thank all of u for ur compliments when I take these leaps of hair changes. They've been quite fun rides I must say. I'm just aware n honest with myself to know for what I want, I can't be showing up to meet the parents or going to my husband's retirement party in bright pink hair. First impressions are critical n I can quickly be wrote off n not taken seriously based off my image-in this case; my hair. How will they ever get to know my heart if they too focused on my hair.

Do you think ur image helps or hurts u when seeking a partner? What does ur presence say without u speaking when u enter a room? Does it even matter at all? What's ur take on tell: leave me a comment here or social media platforms (IG/FB).

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