I have no balance these days n everyday is an attempt to keep my footing straight. You know how u walk along a balance beam n u try to hold steady as u move across...arms out teetering to avoid the fall n every step can make or break to where u are closer to the end or tip over to fall off. I've been winging it FOR UH YEAR. Wow...a whole azz year of a pandemic that I am living through in my lifetime. This shyt is crazy. I feel like I'm lingering amongst u humans in the land of abyss.
The only way I've been maintaining sanity is by prioritizing to have some form of organization as we move along. Holidays and weekends aren't the same and we've literally been on a moving walkway throughout the year. I often lose my train of thought like DUUUUUH n feel Blah (is this what aging is?).
And even now...I accidentally deleted the rest of this section n it's lost in cyberspace somewhere...my memory is too horrible to recall whatever was here so lets move right along....
I know we all want to keep this front like shyt sweet and we've been able to "pivot" but sheesh...am I the only one feeling like we in a midst of purgatory over here? The everyday adulting of budgeting bills, balancing shopping, exercise **cue clown face** TUH, dating in a pandemic (how?), missing travel, not hitting the lottery, staying afloat wit 11:59 deadlines for class n trying to avoid a random family member dying as an excuse for extension on assignments (may my teachers never bump into me in public w/any aunts n uncles) LAWD YEEZUZ when my brain churns it's chaotic. Insomnia anyone? Thank goodness for the CBD craze n I be feeling drained after checking 3 emails n surviving a meeting **cue crybaby**
My movements are short n calculated due to maintaining visits w/my small circle n knowing one wrong cough will keep me from my little Toot for CDC recommended days of isolation as reported by CNN lol.
Also note: I HAVE BEEN COVID FREE THUS FAR n yes, I eat the fries out the bag then remember oh shyt I ain't dowse my hands in sanitizer yet LOL!!!
Aight so how do I wheel it in? I indulge in shyt that brings me JOY. I do shyt that brings me fulfillment n reminds me how blessed I am with where I am n what I got goin on. I have noooo complaints (don't mind the rant above lol) becuz I randomly on any given day-more times than not-pause to say god is good all the time. Spring is here n I look forward to random walks in the neighborhood for fresh air. I loooove taking bubble baths n soak at least 3 times out the week. Weekend Starbuck runs keeps me sane n gives me something to look forward to...**lightbulb** THAT'S IT!!!!
I look forward to waking up to my Toot's smile as he pops up wit them bright bubbly eyes, I look forward to bussin in Mason room to open his blinds (maybe he's part Mogwai-u are definitely OLD if u get that reference but I'll give u a hint...Gremlins LOL), I look forward to watching my plants flourish as I spritz em down n sing to em, I look forward to engaging wit chall on social media, I look forward to window shopping at Nordies n cat naps throughout the day n visiting my grandma to listen to her back in the day stories. I look forward to great things to come becuz so much success is within my reach.
Despite trying to stay afloat urself in a world of uncertainty, what do you look forward to waking up to? What brings u joy these days wit a slice of happiness?
