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  • Writer's picturekisha no e

The Infamous F Word

All this chitty chatter on the F word-Feminine and Femininity with a hint of the trendy "Soft Life". It's interesting to me since it's the new wave and I honestly-love it. For me, I've always been girly. I ain't never been in a tomboy phase where I wanna play ball n climb trees wit the boys-NO! I am not meant to sweat n do strenuous work. Never been my thing so I've always enjoyed resting in my femininity is nothing new. My dad would call me prissy when I young as if I was suppose to be offended and even today my old man calls me "persnickety" which makes me chuckle. Yup, I will be all that and then some if it means I can enjoy being the lady I'm born to be. Growing up I would notice when girly girls like myself didn't wanna get dirty we'd get teased and called "bougie". Interestingly enuff it turned into a welcomed characteristic but back in the day...esp if u lived in the urban areas...bougie was made to make u feel like u think ur "better than".

What I've learned looking back and paying attn to today is...there are many privileges to being womanly n I've always enjoyed the perks. Free meals, gifts, cut the line, VIP invites and whatever else u didn't know u needed til u got it. Becuz of the attention (mainly from men) you will naturally receive for your delicacy, it'll harbor a type of jealousy from those who don't win in the manner u do. You will get eye rolls n teeth sucked at the mere mention of u becuz ur well-liked by folks who give them no attention. Do not let that deter u from being urself.

I would have girls who didn't like me n wanted to fight me for no reason other than their perception of me "thinking she all that" lol. I can mingle in various groups and cliches becuz I know how to exercise kindness and I legit like talking to people. There's no judgement here and I'm open to learning different cultures and lingos that differ from my norm. While I do believe u can reinvent urself in a way from being so hard, it really is a lifestyle. I was just born with mine becuz u either have it or u don't. Not only was I born this way **cue Lady GaGa song** I've also been able to embody what sophistication looks like by way of my mother. When you have an idol or blueprint to follow as it relates to beauty and being ladylike, it's easy to mimic. I remember being young and she always told me how girls are suppose to sit when wearing dresses but I also learned poise from watching groups like EnVogue and a plethora of classy women of the 80's and early 90's.

While there are many components to being feminine; a lot of topics on "How To" is the dress code aspect. I do not conform to thinking u must be in dresses n heels all day n every day as a Hey I'm Feminine uniform.

I've always thought women in pant suits were sexy n I love androgynous looks; think...Grace Jones, Sade and Annie Lennox or if you're REALLY OLD AF...the chicks from Robert Palmer video!!

There's an underlined sexiness to being feminine that doesn't have to be pronounced with dresses n heels. We are naturally emotional n embody the soft skills that are God given. It's how we have maternal instincts n nurturing effects. While there are "methods" to make the feminine side more pronounced or even re-inventing urself to drop the masculine side; it's all a journey within urself if u choose to embrace. We have such a super power that some of us have yet to unlock. Riding the wave of the infamous F word isn't such a bad thing after all. I am glad others are catching on to get on trend n open to a new way of life (which ain't really new, lol).

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