Happy Muva's Day
It's that time of the year again! It's more of a big to do than Valentine's Day n celebrated as much as Christmas. Happy Mother's Day!!! As a mom of two boys on opposite ends of the age spectrum I randomly pause to take this all in. I'm blessed to enjoy watching my boys grow n if it's one thing I've done right...its picking the perfect babydaddies who acknowledge my contribution more often than not. It's a great reminder how I'm appreciated. However, I will say...around this time it's just forever bittersweet becuz it's an extra ticker to the years of not having my mom. This year marks 20 years since she rolled out n even as the time stretches, the memories never shrink.
This is not a sad occasion or post to reminisce but to those who have lost their moms n feel like stillness n quiet time is needed-I understand. If your body is forcing u to stop, listen to it. I know we try to skip over the grieving by keeping busy but it's necessary to sit n cry or lean on ur support group. When my boys kept asking my plans for Mother's Day, I didn't know if I wanted to be bothered or not. I am gonna choose to be bothered n allow them to enjoy my company becuz I wanna take advantage of being present as much as possible for my kids to add to their memory bank.
As a mom, I've been on the wave of losing my mojo with Mason, letting myself go after excessive weight gains to reclaiming my life n putting myself first. The infamous default of sacrificing for ur kids sounds great until u have to remember putting urself above all else is just as important. In 2017, I wrote a piece on Being a Selfish Mother becuz the title of mom comes with a lot of responsibility u never anticipate until ur actually in the game. I totally understand why n how women take bathroom breaks during dinner only to sneak out the window n leave with a duffle bag to disappear into the fog while sayin "Phk These Kids".
I loooove my babies. Yes I do! Nothing brings me more joy than seeing the smiles on their faces n boys are so loyal. I can discipline them n they still wanna be under me as if a snap, crackle, pop never happened lol. Becuz I have boys, I want them to raise up n rise up to stand up men who would be perfect for someone's daughter-IF I ALLOW IT (yall know it's M.O.B.). Me n Mason have our mommy n son time where we have movie nights on Friday's or random lunch dates. My little Toot is too young to remember at the moment but I love on him n sneak my kisses as much as possible to enjoy him at this innocent age. It's so interesting to see how their personalities are shaped off a chip of they mama.
I made sure to not stress during the duration of them being in the womb n it's paid off. They both smile in their sleep (sometimes laugh) n came out happy babies. I know as mom's we want the best for our kids as much as possible n u have to trust ur doing a grand job! I've let go of envisioning what iiiiii want for their lives n leave it open to chase their dreams of whatever it shall be. I am here to assist their dads with guidance n I'm definitely putting em on to game wit these heaux cuz these city girls ain't gettin nere Birkins from MY BABIES!! All this- what does a man bring to the table shyt gettin flipped round these parts.
I am down to be my sons biggest cheerleader n here to put foot into azz when needed. It's called a balance of love. My teen is entering high school (keep me in ur prayers) n these teen years I was totally NOT prepared for. I take pride in knowing my Team No Coddle program is paying off n if need be he could be #emancipated as we speak! My little Toot is only 2 n he's such a big boy. I like to wait til bout 5 to start the program but he's showing he's ready early lol. He grabs what he wants out the fridge n cabinets himself. Self-Sufficient Kids!!! Mama loves it.
To all the mothers, soon to be moms, and everyone is motherly **cue Dear Mama song**. Stop doubting urself, stop worrying if what ur doin is good enuff n stop stressing if they skip out on veggies. Take a moment n do something that makes u happy n don't feel guilty for enjoyment. The joys of a pedicure, solo dates or even sitting in the car to enjoy ur favorite playlist while snacking without someone running to ur ankles at the sound of a crinkled bag is bliss! I never knew how much I took for granted using the bathroom in peace until I have the house to MYSELF!!! Yes, even teenagers give no phks about u during that time n surely a toddler has no cares cuz they will bring their iPad n blanket in the bathroom n plop they azzez near u on the floor smh!! Whhhheeeew motherhood I tell ya-I wouldn't trade it for anything.